Many U.S. renters have had to live with a roommate at some point in their lives, and not every roommate situation is ideal. This article will discuss the ideal way to deal with bad roommates and how you can respond to conflicts when living with another person.
With the high cost of living in much of the U.S. currently, many renters are finding that, on a single income, they may not meet the income requirements for their dream apartment. Some of these renters are choosing to live with roommates to afford the expense. Getting a roommate to help with expenses can be a smart option that allows you to apply for rentals that you would otherwise not be able to afford. This can be an excellent cost-saving option that can catalyze friendship bonds that can last a lifetime.
A great roommate can be like family. But, while there are steps to take to find the best roommate for your needs, there are times when your roommate can become your worst nightmare. So what do you do if life with your roommate isn’t harmonious? Here’s everything you need to know to ensure that you can take exactly the right steps in a bad roommate situation.
Step One: Create Space
Roommates get into scuffles; it’s a natural product of living together and going through daily life with another person who may not do things exactly the same way you do. Chances are, you didn’t hate your roommate when you moved in together (or why would you have chosen to live in the same place?), so take a step back and decide if the issues you are facing are truly deal-breakers. Remember that if you need a new roommate in the future, tiny issues will always come up. If your biggest roommate issue is simply that one of you doesn’t pick up your socks, it may be time to take a deep breath and let the little things slide.
As such, it is important to take space if you and your roommate have arguments. If you can, take time out of the house. If such a thing isn’t doable, take time in your own space, try to relax, and prepare for a conversation about your issues and develop rules you may need to implement to prevent issues in the future.
Learn more: How to Create Privacy in Community Living Spaces
Step Two: Try to Resolve Disputes and Develop House Rules
Communication is key for any relationship, so ensure that your roommate understands your needs. It’s entirely possible they are driving you crazy without even realizing it. Instead of letting your frustration fester, ensure that you are respectful and upfront with them before deciding you are definitely in a bad roommate situation. When you do communicate, ensure that you maintain a calm environment and work toward a solution rather than a fight. Arguments will only make your relationship worse.
Once you have established calm communication, it is important to determine how you can prevent problems in the future. Develop house rules that you can both abide by to prevent possible conflict in the future. With many roommate problems —chores, quiet hours, lifestyle conflicts, and the like— calm communication and rules that both parties can agree to and abide by can resolve problems between roommates.
Step Three: Consider Moving Out
Unfortunately, not all roommate problems are resolvable. In these situations, you should consider moving out. Moving is stressful, but it might be a necessity. Finding a new apartment comes with expenses. Items like move-in costs, deposits, and one-time fees must be considered in addition to the normal rental expenses you are currently budgeting for.
On top of the costs associated with acquiring a new rental, if you are currently in a lease agreement, you will have to assess the costs associated with breaking your lease. Remember that beyond the simple financial cost, you will be dealing with a potentially damaged landlord-tenant relationship should you break your lease. This could come back to haunt you in the future when a new property manager or landlord is looking into your past rental history. Before you make any final decisions, be sure to calculate the moving costs and that you speak with your landlord about your situation. This will help you find out if leaving your roommate situation is the best move or if waiting a few months would be more financially feasible.
If you absolutely must move out but know you have quite a few months left on your lease, ask to sublet the apartment, if you can find a new person to transfer the lease agreement to a new tenant, or simply sublet the rental. Your landlord can say no, but they may be more likely to allow you to leave without fees if you have a qualified replacement in mind. In either situation, the person you find will have to be approved by your landlord. This will likely include filling out an application, your landlord conducting their standard tenant screening procedure by accessing a credit, criminal, and eviction report, and checking employment and landlord references to make sure you found a qualified renter.
Remember that even though getting out of a bad roommate situation will be a huge relief, you are still in an agreement with your landlord should you choose to sublet. This can often mean that, should your subleaser and your former roommate cause damage to the rental, your security deposit is on the line. There are ways to mitigate issues when subleasing, so just be sure to do your due diligence before making any final decisions.
Final Thoughts
In the end, it’s good to keep in mind that your landlord is, unfortunately, under no obligation to acquiesce to your requests to move due to a personality conflict. Managing your personal life and your interpersonal relationships is not the responsibility of your landlord. However, you can ensure that you are more likely to find a good compromise with your landlord if you have had a history of paying rent on time and have been an overall good tenant. A good landlord-tenant relationship goes a long way.